


Fragile

by FlavorofKylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Actress Rey, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben is a good father, Blow Jobs, DILF Ben Solo, Death of a Parent, Dominant Ben Solo, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hand & Finger Kink, Hand-Over-Mouth Sex, Happy Ending, I lied-not really such slow burn after all, Masturbation, Mention of death of a spouse, Mutual Pining, No Incest, No beta we die like Amazons, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Poe is the jerk ex-boyfriend (oh no not again! lol), Praise Kink, Rey's a bad babysitter lol, Roommates, Sexual Tension, Single Parent Ben Solo, Soft Ben Solo, Voice Kink, angsty sex, slowish burn, thigh riding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:48:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29495310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlavorofKylo/pseuds/FlavorofKylo
Summary: Widower Ben Solo and his 10 y.o. daughter Lucy have just moved from Maine to New York for his new job.  Three nights after they move into their new apartment, Rey shows up at the door after midnight, insisting that it's her place.  After some discussion, they figure out that her ex-boyfriend Poe stabbed her in the back.  Ben sees the situation for what it is, and they come to a compromise: they'll share the apartment for the time being until Rey can find a place of her own.But that might be easier said than done.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 50
Kudos: 152





	1. Sunday Girl

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a nod to Neil Simon's "The Goodbye Girl." In the original movie, Lucy is played by Quinn Cummings. I loved her character so much, I kept her name. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I know a girl from a lonely street  
> Cold as ice cream, but still as sweet  
> Dry your eyes, Sunday girl.."

New York City, Upper West Side

Ben sighed with relief before leaning down to kiss his sleeping daughter’s forehead. She’d been whiny and agitated all evening, but he couldn’t really blame her. What with leaving the home she’d known all her life and the struggle of adjusting to a city like New York, it had been a rough few days.

To be fair, it had really been a rough few _months._ Closer to six, if he counted, and he did. Frequently.

For the first two weeks after, he’d woken up feeling like he’d swallowed a rock. Just getting through each day felt like an accomplishment, but he knew he’d have to be strong for Lucy. It helped him get through, gave him someone to focus on other than himself.

She was going to miss the last two weeks of school, but it really couldn’t be helped. This new position at Resistance Technologies was the right thing at the right time, so he took it. Even so, it made him feel like crap, to have to drag Lucy through all of this while she was still grieving the loss of her mother. He tried to explain to her that sometimes it’s necessary for bad things to get worse, just for awhile, when you knew they would get better in the long run.

Lucy seemed to get it. She was a smart kid, and much tougher than she should have to be at ten years old.

Back in his room, Ben slipped into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Yawning, he eyed his watch: only ten-thirty, but fuck if he wasn’t exhausted. It had to be the stress. At least Luce was asleep, and he could only pray that she didn’t wake up in the middle of the night. Tomorrow was going to be a bitch of a day. He still hadn’t found anyone to watch her while he was at work, so he was going to have to bring her with him.

Ben clicked the lamp off and scooted down into his bed. When he closed his eyes, his vision still burned with an impression of Amilyn in the darkness. One of his favorite memories, from the summer before, back home in Maine, when they had taken the boat out and gone fishing. He fell asleep to the sounds of her laughter mixed with Lucy's, the smell of charcoal and clam bake on the beach. It was the closest thing to heaven he could imagine.

++

Rey exited the cab, kicking the door shut behind her. Of course, the rain had not let up. She wouldn’t have expected anything different: that was just her life. Shit always rolls downhill and somehow manages to land on her.

She was nearly soaked to the skin, having walked just the short distance from the cab to her front steps. With a huff of frustration, Rey hauled the duffle bag inside the front door and jammed the key in the lock. Goddamn Poe still hadn’t answered any of her texts from the past two weeks. Giving her the silent treatment, the fucker. Well, she’d at least tried to warn him of her sudden return, and she was in no mood to jump into another long bout of fighting. Not after spending hours on a packed Air-Canada flight and now dealing with the rain. If she was lucky, maybe he wouldn’t even be home. It would be better that way.

Rey got off the elevator on the fourth floor and lugged the bag down the hall. Thank sweet Jesus, home at last. Even if she did have to confront the insolent bastard tonight, hopefully he would be at least semi-reasonable.

She turned the key in the lock and pushed the door, only to be rewarded with the snap of a chain. What…..the ever loving _fuck?_

“Poe?” she called, followed by an icy: “Honey, I’m hooome.”

Nothing. She pushed against the chain, as if there was any chance of bypassing it. A mixture of fury and fear rose inside her, locating itself in her throat and nearly choking her.

  
“POE! You better unlock this door, motherfucker! This is not funny!” She pounded on the door with everything she had. 

Rey stood there, panting, trying to figure out her next move. This day had been way too much already. She wasn’t about to deal with this crap from her shitty ex. Why the hell would he have the chain on, unless…?

She could hear a heavy footfall moving in her direction, and a light switching on in the hallway. Her heart thudded against her ribs and she caught her breath, doing her best to calm down. He needed to give her a chance. They could talk about this.

He breath caught again when a fraction of a face appeared in the opening of the door. A single dark eye, the corner of a pair of full lips, looking like they were carved from wood, stern and tight.

  
“I’m sorry, _who_ are you?”

The inflection of the voice rumbling through that small space threw her, in part because it only confirmed what she’d just figured out: it wasn’t Poe on the other side of the door. The other reason had to do with the voice itself. It was deep and rich, with the texture of dark honey. And disturbingly, despite the fact that she had no idea who it belonged to, it made her knees weak.

Rey managed to compose herself enough to form a response. She grasped back at her indignation and held onto it with all her might.

“This is _my_ bloody apartment! I live here! Who are _you?”_ she barked, incredulity swirling through her musical British accent.

Ben stepped back from the door for a moment. He paused and took a breath.

“Pardon me? I just signed a lease last week. And you need to _lower_ your voice, my daughter is asleep! Do you know what _time_ it is?"

Rey’s mouth dropped open in shock. “That’s impossible. Where’s Poe?”

At that instant, Ben suddenly remembered the box that had been left by the front door. It wasn’t sealed, and when he had peeked inside, he saw that it was full of clothes and personal items. The side of it was marked REY, in black sharpie. There was also a sealed envelope with her name on it left sitting on the kitchen counter.

Everything was starting to make sense now.

Ben’s jaw tightened. “You must be Rey. Wait one second.”

To Rey’s shock, he pushed the door closed in her face. She stood huffing, hands balled into fists, and ready to chew him out further when she heard the chain slide off. The door swung open and Ben held out the envelope.

She tried not to stare. He was a _behemoth_. Worse yet, he was a beautiful behemoth.

“There’s a box here too, with your name on it. Probably easier if you come back and get it in the morning,” he reasoned.

“Wh-the _morning?_ Surely, you jest. I just flew in from Toronto, paid a ridiculous amount of money for a cab, and you’re acting like I’m some stranger! This is where I live, you, you big—”

Ben raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to finish, but she managed to rein herself in at the last minute.

“Listen, I’m sorry,” Ben started calmly. “Clearly, Poe did something very wrong here and you got the short end of the stick. I’ll be happy to help you move the box tomorrow, if you come back after six.” He shook his head in disdain. “I really need to get back to sleep. I’ve just started a new job and my daughter and I need our rest.”

Rey was shaking her head now in utter disbelief. “And what am I supposed to do in the meantime, Mister Mountain? I mean, where am I supposed to go? Are you aware that it’s pouring outside?”

“Um, I think there’s a hotel a few blocks a-“

“Can I just come in for a minute, so we can talk this out?”

Ben sighed dramatically. “Fine. Five minutes.”

Fighting back her pique, Rey stomped into the apartment and set her bag down on the living room floor. That’s when her eyes caught on the box sitting there and she breathed shakily.

“That bloody wanker,” she muttered. She stood staring at it for a long time as tears started to well up in her eyes.

Ben watched her helplessly. “I’ll get you a towel.”

He moved quickly down the hall to the linen closet for a fresh one. When he returned, Rey’s head was bowed, her hands covering her face. 

“Umm…here,” he said softly.

Rey put her hands down and looked at him through reddened eyes. She murmured her thanks before taking the towel and drying her face and hair, wiping her eyes in the process. 

“I should have known he would have pulled something like this,” she muttered angrily.

"So he didn't say anything to you?" Ben asked, incredulous.

"No. Well, we broke it off before I left for the shoot, and...it's just..." 

Ben cleared his throat. He really did feel bad.

“Listen, Mister-“

“Solo. Ben Solo." 

“Ben. As you can see, I’m in a pretty shitty situation here. We’re gonna have to work something out.”

He frowned. “Work something…. _out?”_

“Yes. I mean, there’s two bedrooms, surely we can--"

Ben huffed a laugh. “Yes, my daughter is in one, I’m in the other.”

“How old is your daughter?”

“She’s ten.”

Rey nodded slowly. “Ten. Well, she can just park herself on the pullout here.”

“Excuse me?”

She looked at him like he was an idiot. “The couch. It’s a pullout.” She sighed. “Shit. Good thing he didn’t take all the furniture, too. Fucker.”

“Yes, well I’m planning to get new stuff but we haven’t had a chance yet. We just moved in on Sunday.”

Rey cocked an eyebrow. “How long is your lease for?”

“I’m subletting for three months, then I’ll sign a new lease in August. I'm assuming your name wasn't on the lease...?"

Rey rolled her tongue around her cheek and said nothing. “We can split the rent. I’ll take the smaller room and I’ll pay a third.”

Ben shook his head. “We’re all paid up for the next three months. But you are welcome to sleep here….on the pullout, for the night. Or... for the time being, until you find another apartment.”

Rey stared at him. “Do you know how hard it is to find an apartment when you don’t have a steady income? Especially in New York?"

His throat bobbed. “I know. May I ask what you do for a living?”

“I’m an actor. I was just…” she paused, trying to quickly rewrite the truth in her head. “I left a film set rather suddenly because of….personal reasons.”

“I see. _Personal_ reasons,” he nodded, biting his lip.

“Yes. One of the grips kept grabbing my ass. I finally got sick of it and clocked him.”

Ben couldn’t help the small burst of laughter that escaped his lips as he pictured the young woman before him doing just that.

“So, you just left? In the middle of a shoot?”

“Well…..not really, my scenes were finished. Mostly. And there was more to it than that,” she demurred.

Ben smirked. “Oh, I can imagine.”

Now that the initial drama of the moment had dwindled, he allowed himself to take a longer look at her. She really was quite pretty, even with the shaggy wet hair, smudged mascara and bad attitude. And the freckles....God. He had a thing for freckles. 

“An actress, huh? What kind of stuff have you done?”

“Lots of theatre. Couple commercials. This was my first actual movie role.” She sighed. “Hopefully not my last.”

“Anything I would have heard of?”

“Mystery thriller with Denzel Washington as the lead.”

“Denzel, huh? Impressive,” he nodded. “And what was your role?”

She paused for a beat. “It was very small. I play a girl in his class. He's a professor in the movie.”

Ben chuckled. “Ah.”

“Don’t be snide. I said it was my first movie.”

“And I’m sure you have a long, illustrious career ahead of you, Rey. Especially with that attitude.”

 _“Attitude?_ ” she barked. “You know nothing about me.”

“Shhh, lower your voice,” he reminded her. “My daughter—”

“Yes, I know.” She let out a frustrated sigh. “Oh, this is going to be fun. Living here with Mr. Sarcastic and a ten-year-old girl."

"Hey, the door is that way," he bit out, and Rey looked at the floor. "Her name is Lucy."

Rey snorted. “Lucy. Makes her sound geriatric.”

“Well, she’s named after her grandmother, Lucia.”

Rey nodded. “Hm. Does she live with you full time? I mean, where’s her mother?”

Ben stiffened. He opened his mouth to say something but then thought better of it. It took Rey all of five seconds to realize her mistake.

“There are sheets and pillows in the linen closet. Good-night, Rey.”

She stood frozen in place as he left the room, startling slightly at the sound of the bedroom door shutting a little too loudly.

“Just brilliant, Rey,” she muttered.

++

Rey woke to the smell of fresh coffee and the strains of One Direction drifting from the kitchen. She let out a low groan as she remembered where she was. Damnit. It was the first time she’d ever slept on the pullout, and she was damn sure it would be the _last time._

She dragged herself off the bed and followed the smell of the coffee. She was met with a pair of big brown eyes in a pixie face, looking back at her curiously.

“You must be Lucy,” Rey said in a valiant attempt to be friendly. “I’m Rey.”

“Hi,” Lucy responded glumly. She dug her spoon into her bowl of Cheerios and continued to stare as she chewed.

Rey glanced over at the brand-new coffee machine that was obviously Ben’s and wondered if he’d mind if she poured herself a cup.

“Did your dad tell you about me?”

Lucy shook her head.

“Oh….well, it’s….complicated,” Rey began.

At that moment, the beautiful behemoth better known as Ben walked in. He was wearing a light blue dress shirt and pressed khakis. Rey simply couldn’t stop herself from letting her eyes wander up and down his frame. it was impossible not to notice the way the buttons on his shirt seemed to be straining. 

“Morning,” he greeted, with a trace of a smile. “I see you’ve met Lucy.”

“Mmhm,” she agreed, suddenly at a loss for words.

“Help yourself to coffee,” he said.

"Thanks. I'll pick up some things from the store later."

“Lucy, Rey’s going to be staying with us for…..awhile,” he said simply.

Rey bit her lip as she poured herself a cup.

“How long?” Lucy piped.

“Well, we’re not exactly sure,” Ben answered truthfully. 

“Where did you come from?” Lucy pressed, and Rey turned to her, unsure of exactly how to answer.

Rey looked at Ben. “It’s, umm…a long story.”

“I’ll explain it to you later, Pumpkin,” Ben smiled at his daughter. “Finish your breakfast so we can get to the office.”

He ducked out of the kitchen and Rey grabbed some milk from the fridge.

“Do you like One Direction?” Lucy asked.

Rey took a sip of coffee and cocked an eyebrow at her. “They’re okay, I guess.”

“Who do you listen to?”

Rey walked over and took a seat at the small table beside her. “I go through different phases. I’ve been really into The Clash lately. Good music for getting out your frustrations." She chuckled. 

“The _Clash?”_

“Oh yeah, mostly their early stuff. Blondie, too.”

Lucy raised her eyebrows and shook her head. “I never heard of them.”

Rey’s lips twitched up into a little grin. “No? Well, maybe I can play you some later.”

“Okay. My mom used to listen to The Beatles a lot. And Jimi Hendrix. You know, classic rock.”

Rey nodded. “Sounds like she had good taste. What about your dad?”

Lucy gave her head a little shake. “He used to like that stuff, but… he doesn’t listen to music anymore. Not since mom died."

There was a soft lilt of sadness in her voice, and Rey felt a tightness in her throat. She instantly recognized herself in the young girl.

“I’m sorry,” Rey said softly.

Lucy gave her a light shrug and lifted the bowl to her lips so she could drink the leftover milk. A moment later, Ben was looming in the doorway. 

“Come on, Pumpkin," he cooed. "Let’s get moving. Go brush your teeth.”

Lucy rose from the table and went to the sink to wash her bowl. When Ben met Rey’s eyes, she tried to read his face but came up empty.

He cleared his throat. “We’ll figure out the sleeping arrangements later, okay?”

“Sure. Yeah, that would be good.”

He nodded and licked his lips. “Any ideas about a job?”

Rey chuckled. “I have a few things in mind. “

“Okay. Well, good luck.”

“Thanks. You, too. With the new job, and all.”

“Right. See ya later.”

Rey sipped her coffee. This was turning out to be one strange week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sunday Girl," Chris Stein. Blondie-Parallel Lines, Chrysallis. 1978


	2. Dreaming is Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't want to live on charity,  
> Pleasure's real, or is it fantasy?  
> Reel to reel is living rarity,  
> People stop and stare at me  
> We just walk on by-we just keep on dreaming
> 
> Beat feet, walking a two mile  
> Meet me, meet me at the turnstile  
> Never met him, I'll never forget him  
> Dream dream, even for a little while  
> Dream dream, filling up an an idle hour  
> Fade away, radiate"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey start to work out their temporary living arrangement. Rey agrees to take Lucy out for the day.

Rey was in the kitchen, stirring a big pot of boiling water for the pasta. She wasn’t much of a cook, but at least she could make a decent Puttanesca. Making dinner seemed like the least she could do, after Ben had been so understanding about letting her stay last night.

There were things they would have to work out, of course, but he did seem like a decent enough guy. And although they’d only talked for a few minutes at the breakfast table, Rey was already feeling more at ease about living with a ten-year-old. Lucy didn’t seem so bad at all.

In the aftermath of last night’s calamity, she was feeling surprisingly good. She’d decide not to even bother calling Poe, because what was the point? The damage was done and all she could do was make the best of it. Rey had had enough experience with being left behind to know how to cope with it. Her parents had been the first to leave, and it was clearly a pattern that shaped her life. No one stuck around; it felt like she was always being left. It was why she much preferred casual sex to real dating; what was the point in catching feelings? That only made things more complicated.

She sang along with “Dreaming” as she chopped the basil for her sauce. She tried not to think about Ben, the way his intense, dark eyes had swept over her last night when she asked if she could stay. He sure as hell was beautiful, but the man was probably still grieving, based on Lucy’s comment from earlier. She understood that he was off limits, but there was nothing wrong with a little fantasy, was there?

Caught up in her reverie, she heard the click of the front door two sets of footsteps enter the hall. She smiled to herself in anticipation. After a few moments, Ben was hovering in the kitchen doorway again.

“Hey,” he called gruffly.

Rey looked up and shot him a warm smile that immediately seemed to soften him up. She turned the music down.

“Hey, yourself. How did it go today?”

Ben glanced in the direction of Lucy and rolled his eyes. “It was, umm…. _interesting,_ ” he rumbled.

Rey laughed lightly.

Ben's eyes surveyed the stove and the various ingredients spread out on the counter. “What’s this?”

“Dinner. Pasta Puttanesca, the only thing I can reliably make that’s edible. Well, that and scrambled eggs.”

Ben smirked. “Well, that’s good to know.” He scratched his head. “I’ll remember that.”

Rey bit her lip. _Damn, he was fucking sexy._

“I bought a bottle of red wine,” she said. "If you'd like some."

Ben nodded, his mouth tilting up in a gentle smile. “Thanks. I’ll stick with my beer.”

He went to the fridge to grab a bottle of Stella. When he leaned down, Rey’s eyes went right to his tight, little butt. She couldn’t really see it well, since the pants were kind of baggy, but the muscles in his thighs— _Jesus….get a grip, Rey._

He turned and opened the bottle, leaning against the fridge to look at her.

“How did it go on your end?” he asked.

Rey had just added the noodles to the boiling water and was stirring the pot. “Oh, I have news. Landed an audition for Monday.”

Ben raised his eyebrows. “That’s great. For what?”

“It’s an Off-Broadway play, well…. _off, off_ Broadway. New version of Twelfth Night,” she beamed.

“No shit,” he smiled and took a swig of his beer. “I hope you get it. What about tomorrow?”

Rey shrugged. “Nothing at the moment, unless I want to work as a hostess at TGI FRIDAY’s.”

He gave her a big, toothy smile then, and she wanted to melt into the floor. Something about how sweet he looked when he smiled that way…

“You….have a really nice smile,” she murmured. _Fuck, that sounded stupid. Now he’d think she was flirting for sure._

She watched his throat bob. “Oh….thanks,” he said softly. There was a brief, awkward silence.

“So you’re off tomorrow, then?”

Rey chuckled. “That’s a nice way of saying unemployed, but yeah.”

“Would you, ummm….maybe want to do me a favor?”

“A favor? Like what?”

“Well, it’s hard for me to have Lucy in the office right now. She gets antsy after awhile, and I mean—it’s a brand new job, so I really need to put my best foot forward...."

Rey pursed her lips. “You want me to watch her.”

He flashed her with dark puppy dog eyes. “If you don't mind....?"

"Doesn't she have school?"

"There's only two weeks left of the semester, so there wasn't any point in putting her through the stress when they're about to be finished anyway. She's been through enough changes this year."

"That makes sense."

Ben rubbed his mouth thoughtfully, and Rey's eyes were drawn to the wedding ring on his left hand. 

Damn, his hands were _big._

"I'll have to find a sitter, eventually. But just for tomorrow....what do you say? You'd be doing me a solid."

Rey sighed. “Well, the thing is, I’m not really….. _good_ with kids…”

Ben scoffed. “Nonsense, you’ll be fine. It's not like she’s a baby. And I’ll pay you,” he offered.

Rey cocked an eyebrow at him. “Well, considering the fact you let me stay under this roof without paying any rent, I’d say that isn’t necessary. I mean, it’s nice, but…..”

“No, no,” he shook his head. "I would pay you. A hundred dollars for the day. How does that sound?"

Her eyebrows shot up. “Really? That’s…hard to say no to.”

Ben grinned. "So that's a yes?"

"Sure. Why not?" 

“Great. I’ll give you some extra cash so you guys can go to the movies, or something. And I promise you, Luce is easy.”

At that very moment, Lucy popped into the kitchen. “Ah, speak of the devil.” Ben grinned.

“I’m not a _devil,_ ” Lucy protested. Ben laughed and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“It’s just an expression, baby. You’re right: you're an angel."

Lucy brightened and turned her attention to Rey.

“Hi, Lucy.” Rey smiled.

“Are we having spaghetti?”

“Sure are. Why, do you…. _like_ spaghetti?” she teased.

“It’s my favorite. With lots of basil and garlic, yum,” she licked her lips.

Ben chimed in. “Yeah, her mother used to….” he stopped mid-sentence, his voice dropping. "Make it like that.”

Rey gave her a gentle smile. “Well, that’s exactly how I make it, too. And with olives." 

"Olives? I like black olives."

Rey beamed. "That's great. Could you set the table for us?”

Lucy nodded and reached for the plates on the counter.

“So Luce," Ben said, "Rey’s gonna watch you tomorrow while I’m at work. You guys can go to the movies, or to the park if it’s not too hot. How’s that grab you?”

Lucy looked back at Rey and smiled. “Okay.”

Ben nodded. “Good. Let's go set the table, since Rey's doing all the cooking.” 

“We can listen to some music, too,” Rey whispered once Ben had left the kitchen. 

Lucy grinned.

++

After dinner, the three of them sat at the table with full bellies. Rey was feeling much more relaxed, and for a little while they all forgot they were strangers. Once or twice, she caught Ben looking at her in a certain way, when she was laughing at something Lucy said. It made heat pool between her legs, made her think about what those soft, full lips of his would feel like pressed against her skin, sucking on a nipple, and moving down-

“Can I be excused?” Lucy asked.

“Of course, Pumpkin. Try to put some more of your things away, okay?”

Lucy nodded.

“And thank Rey for dinner, hmm?”

She smiled. “Thanks, Rey.”

“You’re welcome, Sweetheart.”

As Lucy danced off down the hall, Ben gave Rey a quizzical smile.

“I don’t know why you’d say you’re not good with kids. You seem to have a really good rapport with her.”

“Well, I’m an only child,” she started. “And I just don’t have much experience with kids, at all. No nieces or nephews. I just don’t think I’m very....maternal.”

Ben smiled as he lifted his beer bottle and drained what was left in a single drought. Rey watched his throat as he drank and felt rather thirsty herself.

“I’ve had this conversation before. I was the same way. I’m an only too, and I knew nothing about raising a kid. But then of course, as soon as Luce was born, everything was different.”

Rey gazed at him for a long moment. “You’re a good father,” she said. "I can tell."

Ben flushed slightly. “Well, I try. But there’s a definite learning curve. And I tell you, I’m _dreading_ puberty." He gulped dramatically and Rey giggled.

“I don’t blame you. Puberty is….. _dreadful.”_

They both laughed softly for a moment.

“So, I guess we should talk living arrangements,” he said. 

“I guess we should."

Ben licked his lips. “Seems to me that one of you is going to have to sleep on the pull-out. And maybe it makes more sense for Lucy to do it, since she gets up early for school. I mean, during the summer, it’s irrelevant, but by September when school starts up—"

“True, but who knows? I might be out of here by then.”

Ben nodded slowly. “Fair point. The other option is for you two to share the room.”

Rey frowned. “You want me to share a room with a ten year-old girl?”

He huffed. "Well, _I'm_ certainly not going to."

Rey’s mood had shifted by now, and she was feeling a little less congenial.

"I'm sure there are worse things," he shrugged.

“That may be, but there’s a certain measure of privacy that’s lost in the process, don’t you think?” She glared at Ben, who suddenly looked helpless. “I mean, what if I wanted to-to…..”

“What if you wanted to have a guy over? Well, I understand, Rey. Maybe you could elect to go to his place instead?” Ben’s tone had become frosty.

“No! It’s not that, what if I wanted to…you _know….”_

He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her answer.

He wanted her to spell it out. Okay then, she would.

Rey huffed. “I’m pretty sure you don’t want your daughter to hear the sound of a vibrator in the middle of the night. I mean, that would bring up all sorts of questions, don’t you think?”

Ben blanched. As they stared at each other, Rey could have sworn that he was breathing a little harder now. The silence stretched out, long and taut--tight enough to snap. 

“Okay,” he managed, the pitch of his voice lower and deeper than before, sending a little thrill through her. “I get it. You need your….” he cleared his throat. “….privacy. That's fair. You’re a grown woman, and she’s a kid. I’ll talk to her.”

 _I’d much rather have playtime with you,_ went through her head, and she immediately chided herself for thinking it.

Rey drew herself in a bit. “Thank you. And I will contribute to the rent, even if it’s just for the next few months. As soon as I start working regularly.”

Ben nodded. “Alright, but let’s just take it one step at a time, shall we?”

Rey slept much better that night, nestled in a double bed with a halfway-decent mattress—and with a modicum of privacy, offered by the closed door—than she did the night before on the pull-out. She knew Lucy wasn’t thrilled about switching rooms, but compromises were sometimes necessary.   
  
Still, she was determined to make it up to Lucy the next day. 

++

Rey had set her alarm for 8:00, much earlier than her preferred rising time but, she assumed, still within a reasonable range of when Lucy would be up and around. 

She was wrong.

At 7:24, she was woken by loud rapping on her door and Ben’s honeyed baritone.

“Rey?”

Her eyes snapped open and she pushed the covers back. “Yes?”

“Okay. Gimme a minute,” she called. She yawned and stretched before her feet hit the floor. Might as well get up anyway. Rey chuckled to herself, thinking about how great it was to have her privacy back. She much preferred to sleep in the nude, and that was not something she could have gotten away with on the couch. Not in the middle of summer, especially. 

“Good morning,” Rey sang as she entered the kitchen. Lucy was already into her cereal—Raisin Bran this time—and she greeted Rey with a little wave.

“So, are you ready for an awesome day?” Rey asked brightly, as she helped herself to coffee.

Lucy’s eyes went round and she nodded. 

"What are we going to do?”

Rey gave her a mysterious smile. “Well…we can figure that out, but I have a few ideas.”

“Morning, ladies,” Ben rumbled. 

He smiled when she turned to meet his eyes, and once again she was struck by just how yummy he was. 

“Morning,” she mumbled.

“Luce, I want you to put Rey’s number into your phone and text it to me, okay? I should be home around six.” He leaned down to plant a kiss on her cheek. “You be good for Rey today, okay?” he murmured, ruffling her hair briefly.

Lucy looked up at her father and nodded. “I will, Daddy. And it’s Friday.” 

“So it is,” he chuckled. “We made it through our first week, didn’t we Pumpkin?”

“Yup,” she agreed and shoveled another spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

“Okay, then. See you tonight. Rey, can I have a word?”

She nodded and followed him into the hallway, where he whipped out a fifty dollar bill. 

“This is so you guys can have some fun. Go to the movies, have lunch—whatever you want. And if she gives you a hard time about anything, don’t hesitate to call me. Okay?”

“Okay. And thanks,” she smiled.

Ben’s returning smile was warm and made her skin tingle. “Thank you. You’re a life saver, really.”

++

Ben stood in the hallway, waiting for the elevator, and took a deep breath. This was going to be okay. It was totally fine that his pretty new _roommate_ —because, what else could he call her--just happened to stand across from him in a t-shirt with no bra, and her succulent little nipples had stood up to salute him. It was fine that he couldn't help thinking about her when he jerked off last night, picturing her with a goddamn vibrator between her legs because she just happened to mention it during their conversation. And it was fine, too, that she was the first woman to give him a hard-on since his wife died six months ago. 

It was all _fine._ He could do this. 

++

As it happened, the Sephora in Union Square was pretty busy on a Friday before noon.

“We have Sephora in Portland,” Lucy told Rey. “My mom used to bring me there sometimes.”

Rey bit her lip. She wanted Lucy to be comfortable enough to talk about her mom if she wanted to but she didn’t want to pry. 

“Yeah? It’s one of my favorite stores, too. What do you want to try first?” Rey grinned as they passed the row upon rows of fragrance.

“I dunno. Everything." Lucy murmured. She reached for a tester of Dolce & Gabbanna’s Light Blue and spritzed it on herself. “Smells like my mom,” she said softly.

“Oh, that’s one of my favorites, too,” Rey confided. “Your mom had good taste.”

_Well, she certainly had good taste in men, but that was another issue entirely._

“What are you buying?”

“Oh, I just thought it would be fun to come in and try things on. I used to love play with makeup at your age,” Rey confided. She was happy to let Lucy lead the way and try things out as she wished.

“Yeah, mom used to let me sometimes,” Lucy agreed, standing in front of a display of Urban Decay products. “ But dad doesn’t like it.”

Rey chuckled. “Well, I think it’ll be okay, just this once.” She studied Lucy’s face carefully before reaching into a tester of lip gloss. “This shade would be good for you, don’t you think?” Rey asked. Lucy nodded enthusiastically and puckered her lips. Rey laughed.

“Relax your lips a little.” She painted a thin coat of the rose-colored gloss on Lucy’s upper and lower lips, then stood back to admire the effect. “Might be a bit bright,” she grinned.

Lucy looked in the mirror and let out a little whoop of delight. 

“What else? How about mascara,” Lucy begged.

"Okay, why not?" 

++ 

Half an hour and seventy-three dollars later, they emerged from the store with their purchases, including Lucy’s lipgloss. Rey didn’t care about the money; the look of joy on Lucy’s face made it worth it.

“So I’m thinking it’s time for lunch, don’t you?”

“Definitely, I’m starved,” Lucy said, jumping up and down. “Can we get pizza?”

“Hmm, I have a better idea.”

“Better than _pizza?_ ”

They wormed their way through Union Square Park, which was always aflutter with activity on such a perfect Spring day. It was warm for early June, but not hot, and the humidity was low. They stopped to watch the sketch artists at work before crossing 14th Street.

“So how do you like New York so far?” Rey asked, taking her hand.

“It’s pretty cool . There’s a lot going on.”

Rey nodded. “Maybe your dad will let me take you to a museum some time.” She paused. “Maybe he’d want to come, too?”

Lucy shrugged. “He doesn’t really like to go anywhere. All he does is work and stay home." 

“How long since your mom passed, Lucy?” Rey asked quietly.

She was quiet for a moment but to Rey's relief, she didn’t seem upset by the question.

“January."

_It’s not even six months,_ Rey thought. 

Two minutes later, they were standing in front of Max Brenner’s Chocolate Bar and Restaurant.

“This place specializes in all things chocolate," Rey told her. "I thought we could try it out."

The smile on Lucy’s face told the whole story.

++

It was just before six when Ben returned.

“Anybody home?” he boomed, flipping quickly through the mail.

“We’re in the kitchen,” Rey called.

Two seconds later, Lucy bounded from the room towards her father, all smiles. He paused for a second as he looked at her face, brow furrowing a bit as he realized what was different. Makeup. She was wearing makeup.

“Hi Daddy!” she cried, throwing her arms around his waist and holding on tight.

“Hi baby.” She looked up at him through her lashes. “Did you have a good day?”

“It was great! Rey took me to Max Brenner and they have the best chocolate shakes ever in life!! And we then we went to the movies….”

Ben looked up to see Rey standing in the kitchen doorway, hands on her hips, looking rather pleased with herself. He cocked an eyebrow at her.

“They have the best chocolate chip cookies, too,” Lucy continued. “We even brought you some!”

“I see,” he said measuredly, keeping his eyes on Rey, who was shifting now under his intense gaze. “And what movie did you see?”

“ _Dark Secrets_ ,” Rey answered.

Ben raised his eyebrows. “ _Really?”_

Suddenly Rey realized she was in trouble.

“Yep. It was good,” Lucy finished. “And we’re making stir-fry for dinner. Rey’s teaching me.”

Ben’s lips tugged up at the corners.

“That sounds great, baby. Why don’t you go wash your face, I need to talk to Rey for a minute.”

She dashed off to the bathroom and Ben took another step toward Rey.

“That’s an R-rated movie,” he stated, his tone heavy with disapproval that was all too evident in his eyes.

Rey shrugged. “Oh yeah, but it’s _really_ not that bad. It was mostly some swearing, and just one sex scene. It was very mild.”

“She’s ten, Rey.”

She huffed. “I promise you, your daughter has not been damaged in any way by seeing that movie.”

“I’m not trying to make her grow up any faster than she is already.”

“Well, good. There’s the internet for that.” 

“And _makeup_?” he grimaced.

“Ben, we were just having fun. You should have seen her face when we went into Sephora. You know little girls like to play dress up.”

He shook his head. “ _Fine._ Anything else I should know?”  


Rey bit back on the temptation to tell him that she had introduced Lucy to The Clash and The Sex Pistols, but then thought better of it. He’d find out, sooner or later.

“No. I just don’t want you to think that I was trying to corrupt your daughter, or anything like that.”

He sighed. “I don’t think you were _trying_ to. I’m just questioning your judgement, that’s all.”

She huffed. “She had a good time. And from what I’ve gathered, it’s been awhile since she’s had any fun. She even opened up to me a little, about her mom.”

Ben’s eyes darkened for a moment and he stared before tugging out his wallet. He counted out five twenties and handed them to her.

“Thank you. I know you didn’t really want to take her.”

“It was fine. We had fun. And you’re right: she’s easy.”

He gave her a curt nod. “Okay. I’m gonna go take a shower before dinner.”

He left the room, his steps slow and heavy. Rey sighed. It was pretty obvious that Lucy wasn’t the only one who in need of some fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dreaming," Blondie. Eat to the Beat, Chrysalis. 1979


	3. This is Not Going to Go the Way You Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey realizes that Ben is wound tightly enough to break. She tries to think of what she could do to help him release some tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lines "I thought you said you were decent," and "I am decent, I just happen to be naked" were taken directly from  
> "The Goodbye Girl".

Ben was quiet all through dinner, only throwing out an occasional _yeah?_ or _sounds good, baby,_ while Lucy raved about her day with Rey--their lunch, their walk around Union Square, all of it. When she mentioned Sephora, his eyes snapped to Rey and she held his gaze until he looked down at his food.

Eventually, the subject of Saturday came up.

“Rey said we could go to the museum, all three of us. Can we go tomorrow, Daddy? So we can see more of the city?”

“Maybe some other time, Pumpkin. Tomorrow, we have to do some furniture shopping. I want to see about replacing that couch. Then you’ll have something more comfortable to sleep on.” His eyes flickered back to Rey.

She cocked an eyebrow at the implication but held her peace.

“Oh,” Lucy murmured, seemingly disappointed. Then: “Can Rey come, too?”

Ben rolled his tongue around his cheek for a minute, a gesture she'd already begun to recognize as one of his tells. 

“I don’t think Rey would want—” he started, but she jumped in to save him.

“Nah, that’s okay, Kiddo. I have things to do. I have to run some lines for Monday, and other stuff.”

“Aw, _come on_ ,” Lucy pressed. “Come with us.”

Ben sighed, clearly outranked. He shrugged helplessly at Rey. _Up to you._

Rey smiled at her affectionately. “You should have some quality time alone with your dad. Maybe we can do something fun on Sunday, okay?”

Lucy brightened, and Ben nodded at her, a small smile emerging.

“Okay,” she sang. “May I be excused?”

“Yes. You want to help me wash up?”

Lucy groaned, and he frowned in mock displeasure.

“Luce, you had a good day, didn’t you? It’s the least we can do. Rey cooked dinner again for us.”

Rey shook her head at him. “It’s fine—you had a long day. I got it.”

Ben stared at her in silence for a moment. “You sure?”

“Oh, yeah definitely.”

Ben’s throat bobbed and he nodded again. “Alright then. Thank you.”

Lucy skipped off to her room, leaving the two of them at the table. The tension was back, as thick as ever. Ben raised his beer to his lips just as Rey cut in.

“Can I ask a question?”

“Of course.”

“Why did Poe move half the furniture and leave half?”

Ben shrugged. “I guess he planned on buying new stuff. Seems he moved out to the West Coast. He told me I could keep or sell anything he left behind. It was part of the deal. I hope none of it was yours?”

She shook her head. “No. I moved in with him, it’s all his stuff—well, almost all.” She paused for a moment. “Just out of curiosity, did he take the bed?”

He blinked. “Yes, he did. The one in there is what I brought from home.”

“Ah,” she nodded.

“Why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t,” she shot back.

“I take it you haven’t spoken with him.”

She huffed. “ I was trying to call him and text him for nearly three weeks, and he wouldn’t respond. Last time I texted was to let him know I was on my way home—I figured we might still be able to work it out, somehow. But to tell the truth…” she sighed. “Poe was _always_ kind of an asshole. It wasn’t really going anywhere. But I actually prefer things that way. Keep it simple, you know?"

Ben licked his lips as he digested this information. “Still wasn’t right for him to do what he did.”

Rey barked a laugh. “Yeah, well I’m not going to argue with you there.”

“How old are you, Rey? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“I’m twenty-six. How old are you?”

He sat back in his seat. “Thirty-three,” he sighed. “But some days, I feel like I’m 50.” He looked down at the empty bottle in his hand and started to pry at the label absentmindedly. Rey had to tear her eyes away from the way his thick fingers dwarfed the bottle.

“We got married young.”

She nodded. “College sweetheart?”

  
“Yep,” he agreed, unable to hold off a dark chuckle. “We probably wouldn’t have gotten married so soon, but…” he tilted his head to the side.

  
“She got pregnant.”

  
He smiled and threw off a little shrug. “Yep. But I think it worked out alright.”

  
“Lucy’s amazing,” Rey agreed.

  
“Thanks,” he said wistfully. “She is, isn’t she? She’s a lot like her mother,” he murmured, his voice thickening. The look in his eyes sent a twisting pain through Rey like the stab of a knife.

  
At a loss for words, she got to her feet clumsily and started to clear the table.

  
“Listen, you don’t need to cook dinner every night,” he offered. “You know that, right?”

For a second, she was tempted to come out with a snippy response, but his eyes were so earnest, she thought better of it. 

“No,” she huffed. “I won’t.”

++

  
It was a strange Friday night for Rey, if only because of the ease with which she had settled in with two people she'd met only days earlier. 

Lucy played quietly in her room while Rey camped out on the couch, watching _Kill Bill_ and taking a special vicarious pleasure in The Bride’s determination to get revenge on her ex and the other people who had destroyed her life. Ben had been holed up in his bedroom after dinner with the door closed, coming out only to put Lucy to bed around ten. He passed through the living room, sparing her only a glance, but he seemed distracted. He was so hard to read at times; she couldn’t tell if he was stressed over his new job or just mired in sorrow.

  
Probably both, she guessed. 

  
It was quite clear that the man was still bent under the burden of loss. Rey was well acquainted with grief herself, and just knowing he was in pain and working so hard to raise his daughter alone made her stomach sieze up for him.

  
She really hoped he’d he forgive her about the movie, and whatever other minor crimes she’d committed. Rey knew it had been a good day for Lucy, she had really enjoyed herself. And it felt good to make her happy. Surely, no damage was done, right?

  
Rey wondered if there was anything she could do to soothe Ben’s suffering. She suspected a trip to Sephora and lunch at Max Brenner’s wouldn't quite do it.

Hours later, she was in bed, naked under the sheet. The nights were getting warmer, and she would need to see about getting an A/C for her bedroom. The weather forecast had mentioned an early heatwave starting on Sunday, and the last thing she wanted was to be stuck, unable to sleep, in a sweltering room. Poe had never installed one in the second bedroom, of course, since they’d never needed it. She found it easy to justify the expense; even if it turned out that she didn’t stay beyond the summer, it was crucial for now. And she could always take it with her, if need be. 

But really, she was already hoping she could stay. Something about being here with this strange man and his daughter already felt right.

Rey sighed and ran her fingers slowly over her nipples, rolling them one at a time until they hardened. She closed her eyes and Ben’s face swam into view, as had been happening more and more lately. What would it feel like to have those gigantic hands on her body, his thick fingers exploring her? She stroked into the dampness between her thighs and imagined it was his hands touching her, gently probing her. The thought made her whimper.

  
There was a soft rap on the door, and she froze. “Rey?”

  
She did her best to compose herself, positioning her hands innocently at her sides. “Yeah?”

  
“I’m sorry, I know it’s late. Can I speak to you for a sec?”

  
She had to bite back on a little giggle, considering his timing.

  
“Uh, yeah,” she replied.

  
“Are you decent?”

  
“I am decent.”

  
A moment later, he turned the knob and pushed open the door, his eyes widening when he spotted her. Her nudity was obvious beneath the thin sheet that just barely came up to the top of her breasts.

  
Ben shifted his eyes away. “I thought you said you were decent.”*

  
Rey’s brows lifted in amusement. “I am decent. I also happen to be naked.”*

  
He huffed awkwardly and risked a glance back at her. “Umm, I just wanted to say, I’m sorry. Lucy really had a great time with you. I apologize for… getting on you about the movie.”

  
She was thinking how nice it would be if he would _get_ _on_ _her,_ in a different way. 

  
“It was fine, really. We both had fun. Her smile made it all worth it.”

  
Ben nodded and finally looked at her, his eyes doing a surreptitious tour of her body, neatly outlined through the sheet. Rey smirked back at him.

  
He let out a shaky breath. “Yeah. Well, okay then. Night.”

  
“Night.”

++

  
Saturday passed without drama. Rey was able to get a brand new air conditioner delivered and installed in her room, just in time to deal with Sunday’s expected heat. She had spent a good chunk of time reviewing her lines to prep for Monday’s audition, and she was feeling pretty confident about the role.

When Ben and Lucy returned from their day of shopping downtown, it was already late, close to five. He ordered pizza and the three of them sat on the couch to eat while watching Doc Brown explained the miracle of time travel to young Marty McFly.

  
They ate in silence and were nearly finished, when Ben reached up to stroke his daughter’s hair.

  
“We need to make you a dental appointment,” he told her. “And I want you to make sure to keep up with your reading this summer…okay?”

  
Lucy made a face but she knew these were non-negotiables.

  
“And grandma's picking you up tomorrow. You’ll stay over there for awhile until I can find a regular sitter.”

  
Lucy crinkled her nose and looked up at him with pleading eyes. “I don’t even _know_ grandma,” she complained.

  
Ben nodded and his jaw grew tight.

“You’re right. But that’s about to change. She’s left the firm so she has a lot more time to herself these days. And she’s going to want to spoil you a bit. I think she deserves that chance."

  
Rey started to put one and one together. _The firm_ —so his mother was an attorney.

  
“What kind of law does she practice? I might have a need for a good real estate attorney,” she quipped. “There’s someone I’d _love_ to sue.”

  
Ben’s eyes roamed to her and he gave her a quirky smile. “That would be landlord-tenant law, actually, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have much of a case, anyway. My mother handles immigration and human rights cases, mostly.”

  
“Hmm,” Rey nodded, taking another bite of her supremely cheesy pizza.

  
“Grandma’s a big deal, right Daddy?”

  
Ben laughed softly under his breath. “Less now than she used to be, but yeah. Some people still think so."

  
“Would I know her name?” Rey asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

  
He sighed. “You might. Leia Organa.”

  
Rey swallowed her pizza without properly chewing and nearly choked. “Wait, _what?_ That’s your mother?”

  
Ben had that look again, the one that said he just didn’t want to discuss it. She didn’t want to push too hard, but she couldn’t help but gush, just a little bit.

  
“She’s certainly been in the news enough. Done some amazing work.”

Ben’s eyes began to glaze over as he looked back at the tv. “Mmhm.”

Rey frowned. “Not to pry, but when did you leave New York?"   
  
"After college. Amilyn and I met at M.I.T., and after we got married, we decided to move back to Maine. Her family is there."

"That must have been tough for your parents."

He narrowed his eyes a bit. "Well, I had my reasons. My parents and I aren't exactly close."

Rey’s eyebrows shot up. Having lost her parents at the age of 8, it seemed like a heartbreaking thought. To actually have parents and not be able to bask in the joy and security of that unconditional love seemed unthinkable to her.

“But that doesn’t mean Lucy shouldn’t be,” he finished.

“Will grandpa be there?”

“That’s a good question. I’d be curious to know that myself.”

++

Sunday morning, Rey woke feeling sticky and gross; the early signs of the heatwave were already setting in. She checked her phone: not even eleven, and the temperature was already at 82. The projected high was 90 or possibly even above, but the humidity itself was already making the air feel soupy. Ugh. She needed to get up, make herself an iced coffee and get back to running her lines. She hoped the air conditioning was already on in the living room.

  
Rey pulled on a black tank top with spaghetti straps and her favorite pink Juicy sweatpants. She rarely wore a bra, since her breasts were so small, and she normally didn’t even think about it. But after catching the way Ben’s eyes latched onto them when she walked around braless, it gave the prospect a distinct appeal. Someone was noticing her, appreciating her body, even in little ways. Someone she felt drawn to as well. It was a heady pleasure.

When she wandered into the kitchen to get her coffee, the breakfast table was empty. The A/C was on, thankfully, but the apartment seemed still. She wondered if Ben had already taken Lucy to his mother’s. A moment later, as she sat reviewing her emails and contemplating breakfast, the doorbell rang. Rey hesitated, unsure if she should get it when she heard Ben’s heavy footfall enter the hall and move quickly to the front door. 

  
“Just a second,” he boomed. Rey strained her ears for the click of the lock, followed by Ben’s low greeting and a second voice—undoubtedly his mother’s.

  
Suddenly, Rey wanted to run, to escape back to the solitude of her room, but there was no way that could happen without being seen. She held her position, listening to strands of their conversation until she heard Ben say, “Let me go check on her, she should be ready.” 

  
Moments later, Leia sauntered into the kitchen, headed for the coffee pot and froze when she caught sight of Rey.

“Well, hello there. Who might you be?” There was nothing accusatory in her tone, only curiosity. Still, Rey felt pinned by this middle aged, petite yet formidable woman in her pink linen shirt and black capri pants. She looked polished and effortlessly cool--probably had something to do with the shining air of confidence she exuded. 

  
“I’m….I—live here,” Rey answered, realizing her explanation did nothing to actually _explain_ the situation. It hadn't occurred to her that she might cross paths with his mother, and that she would be completely unaware of Rey's presence in his home.

"Oh...." Leia intoned, eyes wide. Rey was grateful to hear Ben's voice in the hallway, approaching their direction. 

"I'm in the other bedroom," she explained quickly. "Ben and I are not together."

Leia raised her eyebrows. "I see."

He appeared in the doorway then, and not a moment too soon.

"Here's your granddaughter, mom. Have fun," he said, just a hint of derision in his voice. 

Leia stared back at him, unfazed. "I thought you were joining us for brunch," she said.

"Ehh, I have errands."

"Come on, Daddy! Brunch!" 

He sighed; he just couldn't say no to his daughter. "Okay."

"Bye, Rey," Lucy called cheerfully on her way out.

"Nice to meet you, Rey," Leia said diplomatically, with a curious glance at her son.

"You too. Have a great day, guys!"

"See you later," Ben nodded. 

The door shut behind them and Rey had the place to herself. 

++

  
Monday evening, after a successful audition, she couldn't wait to share the news with Ben. It turned out, he was in one of his morose moods, and kept mainly to himself. 

  
Tuesday and Wednesday sailed by, and they saw each other only in passing. Rey was busy prepping for her new role and Ben, it seemed, had thrown himself fully into his work. 

  
Lucy’s absence seemed to make him more tense, rather than less. She would have hoped he could enjoy a little break from fatherly duties, but no. And at some point, she started to realize he might be avoiding her. 

  
Thursday night, Rey cooked again: spaghetti and meatballs, with packaged turkey meatballs and sauce from a jar. She was hoping he’d join her, but he more or less darted straight to his room. 

  
Rey was over it. 

When she knocked, Ben opened, a look of genuine surprise on his face. 

  
“Yes? Did you need something?” 

  
Rey took a deep breath. “I was just wondering if...you’re avoiding me,” she said. 

No point in beating around the bush, was there?

  
He hesitated. “No, I…..I’m just busy. Work stuff.”

  
She raised her eyebrows. “You’ve been eating all your meals out and then you come home and stay in your room. You’re avoiding me,” she said definitively. “I’d like to know why.”

  
He stared back at her as the silence stretched out between them and she watched his throat bob. 

  
“I’m not,” he protested haltingly.

  
“No? Well, then could you do me a favor, and come sit in the living room with me for a few? If that's not too much to ask," she added.

  
Ben held up a hand. “No, no. I’ll be right there.”

  
Rey had poured herself a finger of Patron and was swirling it in her glass when he emerged and settled down on the couch.

  
“Want a drink?” 

  
“No, I’m…..I’m good, thanks.”

  
“You sure? Because you look like you need....well, _something,_ ” she said, her voice low and husky. “I thought we were getting to be friends.”

  
“Yeah, we…..we’re _friends,"_ he agreed, but his tone left her unconvinced. 

  
She raised her eyebrows. “Okay, because friends are honest with each other. So can I be honest with you?”

Ben nodded, his posture stiff and unsure. “Uh huh.”

  
She took sip of tequila and relished the deep, pleasant burn on it's way down. A few steps closer and she rested her glass on the coffee table by her side, as Ben watched her every move. 

  
“Good, cause….I was wondering if maybe there was something I could do for you.”

  
He stared at her, eyes wide and lips parted.

  
“Something… for _me?_ ” he shook his head slowly. "Like...?"

  
Rey lifted her chin, her gaze heated. 

  
“A way to help you relax. Make you feel better,” she purred. Her eyes lowered to his lap and she licked her lips, jarring him into the reality that _yes,_ she was indeed offering what he'd only dared dream about. 

  
“Rey,” he started. “I... I can't."

  
“No?” Her mouth quirked up in amusement. “You sure?”

  
He frowned . “Why would you do that?”

  
She took another slow step toward him, and another, eyes blazing.

“Why? Because I _want to,_ ” she said simply. She moved closer and didn’t stop until she was standing inches away from him. With Ben seated, this was the first time she’d been able to look down at him slightly, and it made her belly flutter. 

  
Ben truly looked like the proverbial deer in headlights as she sank down to her knees in front of him, holding his gaze and placing a hand on each knee. 

“Tell me honestly,” she breathed. “Do you not want me to?”

  
He inhaled sharply. “It’s not _that._ I’d be a fool not to want it. But I can’t…..I’m….” he shook his head in frustration. “I can’t give you anything back. Emotionally, I mean."

  
Rey smirked at him. Her beautiful behemoth, so stunning and clueless. 

  
“I’m not asking you to marry me, Ben. I’m just offering you a blowjob.”

  
He took a deep breath, his body flooding with a surge of arousal that was only notching it up from where it was five minutes earlier. 

  
“I haven’t been with anyone,” he began, his voice almost apologetic. “Not since my wife."

  
“I know. That’s why I’m offering. Consider it a gift. And I’m not asking for anything back. But I’d like to make you feel good. It would be my pleasure. Will you let me?”

  
It took all of five seconds for Ben to give her a nod. She smiled back at him and reached for his belt. 

  
“A little help would be appreciated,” she murmured playfully, and he couldn’t help but give her a shy smile as he worked through his belt and unhooked his jeans. He seemed profoundly self-conscious as he freed his cock. Once it was out, he raked a hand through his hair and watched her. 

  
Now Rey was the one gaping. 

  
She’d expected him to be on the large side, taking his height and the size of his hands into consideration, but she hadn’t been quite prepared for this. Ben barely seemed to notice her reaction, too dazed by the rush of his own desire. She reached forward to take the thick, velvety weight of him in her palm, watching him grow longer and harder as she ran a finger along the vein. Rey had never thought of a dick as beautiful before, the idea would have seemed ridiculous, but she couldn’t push the thought from her mind now. It was smooth with the most delightful curve to it, the head flushed right now a lurid purple. When her eyes flashed back to Ben’s, he was staring at her with a mixture of trepidation and reverence. 

  
She licked a slow stripe along the length of him, circling underneath the head and eliciting a low moan from Ben. 

  
Rey knew she was good at giving head. She’d had a good amount of practice over the years, and she genuinely enjoyed it, especially loved the rush of power that came from reducing a man to a quivering mess just by using her mouth. This was different, though. She knew Ben needed to be touched, needed affection and release. Even though they’d met barely a week ago, the connection she felt to him was undeniable. His sorrow and his strength, his need to push back on the emotions that threatened to swell up and choke him at any given moment—Rey understood that. It made her want to give him something, without expecting anything in return, and this was the best way she knew how. 

  
As she took him deeper into her throat, his fingers dug into the couch cushions as if holding on for dear life. He watched her through hooded eyes, his expression almost pained. When his hips started to thrust forward just a bit, she could tell he was holding back. And that just wouldn’t do.

  
She slid him out of her mouth, gripping him tightly between fingers and stroking up and down. 

  
“Don’t be shy,” she murmured. “I wanna _hear_ you.”

  
That was all he needed. When she wrapped her lips around the head again, he grabbed her hair and pulled it roughly, sending a sweet jolt this side of pain through her skull. Once she felt him hit the back of the throat, he let out a growl.

  
“So _good,_ Rey. You’re so fucking _good.”_

  
His praise sent a fresh gush of wetness into her already damp panties. The thought of reaching down to touch herself was tempting, but she wouldn’t, not this time. This was not about her. Her words seemed to free him, his grunts now building into low moans and words of encouragement as they settled into a slow steady rhythm, his hips rocking in sync with the movement of her head.

  
“Just like that. You’re… hnngh…. _unreal."_

  
She could feel him getting close when he twitched against her tongue, and she slowed way down. She wanted to make him wait for it….wanted to feel him _combust._

  
Ben’s grip on her hair loosened up, his fingers massaging her crown for a bit in response to her slowing. When she was ready to move faster, he fell right back in sync with her as he chased his release. She hoped he would say her name, but that was maybe a little much to ask for. 

  
“Ah…ah, gonna come,” he panted, and she redoubled her efforts. Ben’s hips jerked and he went rigid, painting the back of her throat with his hot spend. Rey loved watching the pure, unrepressed emotion on his face as he came; it was right there on the short list of the hottest things she had ever seen. Moments later, as his cock wilted in her mouth, he crumbled, a harsh sob issuing from his throat. Stunned, she let him fall out of his mouth and Ben slumped forward, covering his face with his hands. 

  
She didn’t know what to say. Was he…. _crying?_

  
Rey sat back on her heels, staring dumbly as his body shook silently. She touched his knee gingerly, unprepared for the rush of emotion that overcame him. 

  
“It’s okay, Ben.”

  
He shook his head and set his hands down on his knees, covering hers.

  
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “That was….so good. I don’t want you to think it was anything you did wrong..."

  
She nodded and gave him a small smile. “I think I get it.” 

  
He licked his lips. “It was just…. _intense.”_

  
“Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

  
He huffed, his body finally relaxing. “Oh, it is. I promise."

  
“Well, that was the idea."

  
“C’mere,” he crooned. 

Rey scarcely had time to react before he pulled her close to his chest and covered her mouth with his in a feverish kiss. She went limp, her mind going blank as she leaned into him and savored the feel of his lips and his tongue. 

  
She hadn’t been kissed that way in a very long time. Maybe not ever. 

  
When she pulled back to catch her breath, she looked back at the beautiful man sitting before her. His lashes were wet, and she could see the trace of a single tear shining on his cheek. Her heart lurched in her chest, and it scared her as she suddenly realized she was feeling things she didn’t want to feel. 

  
Ben gave her a gentle smile. “Thank you. I really needed that,” he quipped.

  
She let out an uneasy laugh of her own. “I could tell.”

  
His eyes lowered to her chest and he swallowed thickly. “If you let me….I could—”

  
“No, that’s okay,” she assured him, already pulling free of his grip. It had become too _much,_ too intimate for her. “Another time,” she smiled.

  
Ben looked a little confused, but he pushed through it.

“Sure. If that’s what you want." She wasn't sure how to read his eyes as he tucked himself back in his pants. 

  
Rey nodded again as she got to her feet awkwardly. “I’m gonna go to bed,” she said measuredly.

  
She didn’t miss the look of disappointment on his face, couldn’t have missed it if she tried. 

  
“Okay," he said hollowly. “Night. Sleep well.”

  
“You, too.” She was halfway down the hall to her room, almost sure she’d made her escape, when she heard his voice again.

  
“Rey.”

  
She turned, eyebrows raised.

  
“Lucy will be home this weekend, but she’ll be with her grandmother again all next week."

  
Rey nodded. “Okay. Good to know.”   
  
  



	4. Learn to Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Rey and Ben have a 'moment', each one deals with their own feelings. Ben wants more.  
> Rey realizes she does, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I think I'm dying nursing patience  
> It can wait one night  
> I'd give it all away if you give me one last try  
> We'll live happily ever trapped, if you just save my life  
> Run and tell the angels that everything's alright
> 
> Now, I'm looking to the sky to save me  
> Looking for a sign of life  
> Looking for something to help me burn out bright  
> And I'm looking for a complication  
> Looking, cause I'm tired of lying  
> Make my way back home when I learn to fly high"

  
  
After his bone-shaking orgasm, Ben fell asleep almost the moment his head touched the pillow. That was rather unusual these days, but what wasn’t unusual was for him to be awake around four a.m.—the absolute worst possible time for a body to be awak, in his opinion.

It had started happening often since Amilyn died. He would wake suddenly in the night, and the realization that she had left him and their baby girl would come flooding back, bringing with it a crushing remorse. Those were the times he thought about what else he could have done to make things better, to slow the progress of the cancer. Maybe he could found a better clinic, a better doctor, a better treatment—something, _anything_ that might have given him his wife and his child her mother for even a little longer.

By the time it was diagnosed, the doctors had told them she had months to live—three at the outset.

She had lasted four. They were long, torturous weeks, watching her fade away slowly. He veered back and forth between wanting her suffering to end, for it just to be _over,_ and feeling horrifically guilty over having those thoughts. Once she was gone, the soul-smashing weight of grief was tempered just a bit by a sense of relief. 

And now here, in this city he once knew like the back of his hand, he felt like a stranger. Starting his life over again, grasping onto filaments of the past that melted into thin air in the light of day.

Rey had come from out of nowhere and turned everything on its head. What she had done for him, just hours earlier, had thrown him for a loop; without knowing it, she had dared to remind him that his life was _not_ over, that he could still have all the things he’d already given up. She reminded him what it was like to feel wanted, that he wasn't dead inside. He could still feel desire, still feel love. 

Maybe he could even _be_ loved.

Ben found it virtually impossible to maintain concentration on any single thing at work the next day. When he’d left, she was still in bed and he could think of no good reason to disturb her. But he couldn’t stop hoping that they could have some time that night together. Maybe she’d give him a chance to repay the favor. God knows he wanted to, wanted to touch her, lose himself in her for a little while.

Lucy would be back on Saturday, but they would have this evening. Maybe order in some food, watch a movie. But when he got home at his usual time, there was no sign of her. She was a young single, attractive woman; there was no reason to think she wouldn’t go out on a Friday night, with friends, or on a date. She was free and unencumbered; he had no claim on her. Still, the idea of her on a date was less than welcome.

++

“I haven’t seen you in forever, Bish!” Rose exulted. They were sitting at one of their favorite watering holes, Citrus, on the Upper West Side. Rose had become one of Rey’s closest friends, since they met taking acting classes together four years earlier.

“I need to hear the deets about your living situation,” she grinned. “What’s going on with the sexy single dad? I always suspected you might have a daddy fixation,” she teased before taking a sip of her Cosmopolitan.

Rey shook her head in mock exasperation. “He’s _not_ old, he’s thirty-three.”

“Okay, and?”

“And what?”

“What’s he _like,_ girl?”

“He’s very tall, and he’s got these really expressive dark eyes," Rey began.

Rose cocked an eyebrow as she listened.

“He’s…. quiet. Kind of sad. And he’s a really good father,” Rey finished. As the words left her lips, she felt a twinge of what she’d felt the night before when Ben kissed her.

“Ok, so…not exactly a barrel of laughs,” Rose agreed.

“Come on, Rose. His wife died less than six months ago.”

Rose let out a sympathetic _mmph_.

“So maybe he needs _someone_ to cheer him up," Rose suggested. Rey gave a little shrug while her friend watched patiently. Rey felt no need to share the previous evenings activities with her friend.

“I’m assuming you’re not still thinking about Poe?” Rose blurted suddenly.

Rey sucked her teeth. “If I never see that sorry loser again, it’ll be too soon.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it,” Rose said, relieved, raising her glass in a toast. _“Bye-bye, loser,"_ she grinned.

“Oh, I’ll drink to that,” Rey chortled.

They clinked glasses and Rey drained hers.

“Let’s get another. We haven’t hung out in so long. I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you, too.” Rey smiled fondly.

“Oh, hey! Shit, I almost forgot! We’re all going to see the new Galaxy Wars tomorrow—Finn and Jannah are coming, and Kay too, I think. Are you in?”

Rey puckered her lips. She knew Lucy would be back tomorrow, and she had been hoping to spend some time with her. Of course, it had nothing to do with spending some time with her father—nope, not at all.

“I dunno. Was kind of hoping to hang out with Lucy tomorrow.”

Rose eyes went wide. “Wow! You sure it’s not her daddy you want to hang out with, hm?”

Rey rolled her eyes.

“Come on, Rey—it’ll be fun! We haven’t all done this in so long! And you know you want to see Kira and Kylo!”

“Okay, okay—fine. I’ll go.”

“Don’t let me twist your arm, or anything,” Rose griped. “Finn told me to make sure you were coming.”

“What time?”

“Around three, I think. It’s playing at Lincoln Square.”

“I’ll be there.”

++

Saturday was already a surprisingly warm and muggy day, by the time Leia arrived to drop Lucy off. Rey was still in bed, thinking about getting up when she heard their voices in the hall. She hadn’t crossed paths with Ben at all, the day before; he’d left before she got up and by the time she got home, he was already in bed. The thought of knocking on his door so she could slip in bedside him had drifted through her head, especially after the four drinks she and Rose had put down. But somehow, she managed to resist the urge, and in the light of day, she was thinking, it was probably for the better.

Rey pulled on a clean t-shirt with her favorite sweats and ran a quick comb through her hair. She didn’t feel like meeting his mother for a second time looking like she’d just rolled out of bed--even if she had—so she waited til she heard their goodbyes and the front door slam.

When she exited her room, Lucy was chattering excitedly to Ben about something she’d done with grandma. Rey took advantage of the moment to dart into the bathroom to wash up and brush her teeth before greeting them. She found she really cared what she looked like to him, and the thought was rather disconcerting.

“Tomorrow is the summer solstice. Grandma says that’s the longest day of the year,” Lucy was saying when Rey appeared in the doorway. “Hi, Rey!” Lucy chirped and surged forward to throw her arms around Rey’s waist.

“Hey, Kiddo,” Rey barked, surprised at the rush of affection from Lucy. “Did you have a good time with your grandma?” Her eyes met Ben’s, and he returned her gaze, steady and smoldering. He greeted her with a silent _hi_ and she gave him a coy wave.

“Yeah, we had a great time. We saw the butterflies at the Natural History museum. And we went out to eat a bunch of times. Rey, did you know that butterflies taste things with their _feet?"_

Ben chuckled softly and Rey widened her eyes. "No! I didn't know that. Fascinating," she agreed. 

"Yep," Lucy nodded. 

Ben put a hand on his hip and addressed his daughter. 

“What about grandpa, was he there?”

“Nope, grandma said he was traveling but he would be back next week so I’ll see him then.”

He snorted but left it alone. At the mention of next week, Ben’s eyes flickered back to Rey and that same hungry gaze fell on her, sending a flush over her face.

“That’s good, Pumpkin. He’s been wanting to see you for a long time,” Ben returned.

Rey was doing her best to deal with her jellied legs and pouring herself a cup of coffee when Ben piped up.

“So what do you want to do today, Luce? I was thinking the new _Galaxy Wars_ movie.”

“Yeah, that sounds good! Can Rey come with us?”

He gave her a full on, crooked grin then, his deep eyes inviting her.

“Sure, if she wants to."

Rey huffed. “Its funny, really funny that you should ask, because I got invited to see that very movie today already.” Shit.

Ben’s eyebrows shifted upward. “Ah. Date?”

“No, just going with some friends,” she said quickly, suddenly realizing she really wanted him to know it was not a date. 

Ben nodded. “Okay then.” 

Lucy pouted.

“I’ll make it up to you, Kiddo, I promise. We’ll go to a different museum.” The girl flashed her a sweet smile and plodded out of the room. 

“So, will you be around tonight?” he asked, the note of hopefulness underscored by the richness of his baritone.

Rey held his gaze knowingly. “I will.”

He cocked his head, letting his eyes roam over her breasts and downward. He rapped quickly on the counter and sauntered past her, leaning close briefly to whisper in her ear. 

“Can’t wait.”

Rey felt a little shiver of anticipation. Suddenly, Saturday evening couldn’t come fast enough.

++

Later that day, in the company of her friends, Rey was grateful for the reprieve from Ben’s smoldering intensity. She needed to feel like herself again, have some space away from him and Lucy. She was already starting to feel like her perspective was getting skewed.

The possibility had slipped into her mind only briefly—what if they ended up at the same theatre? But that would be crazy, _Galaxy Wars_ was playing all over the city. What were the odds that would happen?

“We’ll get the snacks, you guys go sit,” Finn suggested when the group was assembled just outside theatre number four. He wrapped his arm around Rose’s waist and led her towards the concession stand, Rey following right behind. Rose shot Rey a triumphant look; she had been crushing on Finn for so long, and now he was finally taking the hint. Rey grinned back at her, thrilled for her friend. 

They were standing on a long line, and on a Saturday afternoon the joint was jumping, mainly because of _Galaxy_ _Wars._ Rey smiled to herself. It was good to be back in New York, and it was good to be with her friends….and free of Poe. This was good.

“What do you want, Peanut? We’re gonna get a huge popcorn to share.”

She glanced over to meet Finn’s expectant gaze.

"Oh, you treating?”

“I am, so live it up."

“Good man, Peanut," she smiled. "Raisinets, and umm….Diet Coke.”

He nodded and turned to Rose. The two of them shared a sweet glance and she brushed her lips against his cheek playfully. They were so damn _cute._

“Look, daddy, it’s Rey!”

Startled, she turned to catch a familiar face, grinning and waving wildly. Rey smiled and waved back, mimicking Lucy's excitement, before her eyes drifted upwards to the fuckable redwood right beside her. He was looking at her like she was a snack, and her stomach did another little flip.

“So it is,” he rumbled with an amused smirk.

When Rey looked back at her friends, Rose had a look of disbelief on her face that Rey could read right away. _Is that him?_

Rey chuckled, her cheeks heating a bit. She glanced over again at Ben and Lucy as they grabbed their popcorn and then started to move away from the counter. 

“Bye Rey,” Lucy sang.

“Later, kiddo.”

Ben served her one more heated glance before they disappeared into the theatre.

As they were walking to meet up with Jannah and Kaydel, Rose jabbed Rey in the ribs. “She’s just the cutest thing ever, isn’t she?” Rose bubbled. “And daddy’s not too bad, either. _Get it,_ girl," Rose cheered quietly.

Rey gave her a smug grin.

She kept her eyes peeled for Lucy and Ben in the stadium, and finally spotted them much farther up front—likely at Lucy’s request. She let herself relax and enjoy the movie. 

++

Hours later, Ben and Lucy were settled on the couch, channel surfing and waiting for Rey to get home. He’d been thinking about it today, and decided he would try to be a little less needy. He was aware that it wasn't exactly an attractive quality, especially in a man. He could reel himself in, play it cool…or at least, _cooler_. She had already made it clear that she was attracted, so he could sit back a bit, and let it play out naturally. It didn't matter that being around her made him feel like his seventeen-year-old virgin self again; she didn't need to know _that._ Especially after his minor breakdown after she was sweet enough to relieve some of his tension.

Ben huffed, drumming his fingers on the coffee table. “So what are we watching, Pumpkin? Pick something.”

“Maybe we should wait to see what Rey wants to watch, daddy.”

_Perceptive kid._

“That’s fair,” he grinned.

They’d skipped dinner; after all the popcorn and candy from the movie, neither one of them was hungry. But Ben knew Luce would need something later. Hopefully, by then, Rey would be home.

God, what was _wrong with him,_ thinking this way? It wasn't like they were dating.

The sobering thought drifted back: that they could never happen. At least…..not yet. Lucy certainly wasn't ready to handle a new woman in his life. Hell, Ben was pretty sure _he_ wasn't ready for that either, but then….he didn’t seem to have any control over what was happening. Not when it came to Rey.

It was almost seven-thirty when he heard her key in the door.

++

The apartment was pleasantly cool when Rey entered, much to her relief. The subway platform had been suffocating and she desperately wanted to take a shower. What will July be like, she wondered, if it’s this hot before the solstice?

“Hey,” she called casually, pushing the word out with a bit more effort than she normally would. King Julian was singing “I Like to Move It” on the screen, and Lucy was wiggling joyfully in her seat. Ben turned around first.

“Hi. Glad you made it back in one piece. Nasty out there,” he said conversationally.

“Disgusting,” Rey agreed, crinkling her nose.

Lucy turned. “Hi Rey! Come watch Madagascar!”

“Okay, but I really want to grab a quick shower and then I’ll join you guys, okay?”

Ben nodded his assent and turned his attention back to the tv, doing his utmost not to picture her, soft and wet, under the shower head, with those pretty, pink nipples pebbling. It was all he could do to smother a moan, sitting right beside his daughter on the couch.

This was not good. 

Rey showered and changed into a fresh t-shirt, her favorite North Face one that fit her just right—without a bra, as was her usual. She joined them on the couch for the movie, Lucy between them, and the three of them laughed and sang along to the animal’s antics. She was certainly not oblivious to the way Ben’s eyes kept traveling back to meet hers, but she did her best impression of an ice princess, shooting him a coy smile and a wink. She _was_ an actress, after all. There was no need for him to know that her lower belly is already flooded with heat, just from the thought of his hands on her. 

Later, they picked at cold, leftover stir fry. Afterwards, Rey scooped bowls of ice cream for each of them and carried them out to the living room. 

“Mint chip is the best thing _ever in life,_ ” Lucy sighed joyfully, with the insistence typical of a ten-year-old, and Rey grinned.

“Kid’s got taste, I have to say," she quipped, earning a light chuckle from Ben. 

Rey picked up her spoon to run her tongue slowly down the length of it, savoring the cold sweetness. But she was careless, and a big blob dropped onto her shirt, just beside her left nipple. When she looked up, Ben’s eyes were glued to the spot. He licked his lips as if he’d like to clean her off himself and his eyes snapped back to hers. Rey smirked, grabbing a napkin to rub slowly and deliberately over the spot, brushing her nipple in the process. When she looked back at Ben, his expression was _pained._

Thankfully, Lucy was way too absorbed in the movie to notice anything,

When the movie ended, they chatted about Galaxy Wars until the ten o’clock news came on. Lucy was yawning by now.

“I think it’s about that time, Luce,” Ben noted. “Go brush your teeth and put on your jammies.”

Rey stood and helped him take the cushions off so they could pull out the couch for her. At the sound of the bathroom door clicking shut, he turned to Rey with that same same hungry look.

“Will you come to my room later?”

Rey felt a tingle of excitement light up her nerves. 

“Yes.”

“Wait a little while. Make sure she’s—”

“I know.”

There were no more words then. 

Silently, Rey helped him stretch clean sheets over the mattress and plump up the pillows. When they were done, he leaned closer and rested one of his huge paws on her hip, squeezing lightly. His lips pressed a soft kiss at the shell of her ear, and the surge of wanting that washed over her was so strong, it made her dizzy. 

When Lucy was tucked in and Ben had kissed her forehead, the two of them retired to their bedrooms, exchanging a soft _goodnight_ that they both knew was just for show. 

++

Rey waited as long as she could, until she just couldn’t stand it anymore. 

She stepped into the hallway to do a quick check on Lucy. The girl was out like a light, as she suspected. With a satisfied sigh, Rey turned around and padded softly to Ben’s room clad only in her oversized t-shirt and panties. 

Ben was waiting for her, sitting up in bed propped against the headboard. He was already half-hard, and as the minutes ticked by he couldn’t help stroke himself a few times to try to relieve just a bit of the pressure. Finally, a knock on the door and he froze.

“Come,” he called, voice low and gruff.

The door swung open and Rey entered. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it to catch her breath.

“Lock it." 

She twisted it before shuffling closer to him in slow motion while his dark eyes blazed into her. Rey licked her lips and Ben patted the space between his spread legs on the bed. He seemed different, she noticed. No longer hesitant, he was now definite in what he wanted. She complied, kneeling in the spot, bringing her face mere inches from Ben’s. His arms snaked out to pull her flush to him, capturing her lips with a ferocity she wasn’t expecting. Rey reared back for a split second before giving herself to the kiss fully.

She heard a low rumble in Ben’s chest before he pulled back, breathless, to meet her eyes. Rey couldn’t stop from staring, admiring his broad, defined chest and thick arms. Without warning, he yanked at her shirt and pulled it off in one fluid movement. She was kneeling before him, almost completely bare, but for the scrap of fabric covering her cunt, the scrap that was already soaked with her arousal. Ben’s eyes drank in her breasts, palming one gently and stroking her nipple roughly before he leaned down to take its twin into mouth, sucking gently at first and then more aggressively. Rey threw her head back in ecstasy, Ben’s free hand wrapping around the back of her neck to hold her in place. She stiffened—it was a possessive gesture, one she wasn’t expecting from him, but the sudden feeling of submitting control turned her on immeasurably. His wicked mouth continued its ministrations, soon switching to the other nipple, a deep groan escaping from him. 

“I’ve been wanting to taste these sweet little tits,” he admitted, “since the first time you flashed them at me.”

What she was feeling was…well, _strange._ Of course, she’d been attracted, been aroused, and she’d had decent, maybe even _good_ sex. But this was new and different. She barely even knew Ben, but somehow she felt a sense of vulnerability in his hands unlike anything she’d experienced before—even with Poe, who she had lived with for more than a year. It wasn’t just his gentle nature, it was a sense that he genuinely cared about her, as inexplicable as that might be, and that he would never let any harm come to her if he could help it.

As echoes of this thought filled her head, she knew that _this—_ whatever they were doing, would do tonight--was not _just sex._ But the fearful part of her pushed that away, startled out of her reverie when he nudged her backwards gently, one hand wrapping around her shoulders to steady her.

“Can you be good and stay quiet for me while I make you come? Can you do that, Rey?”

There was a rough edge to his voice that made her flutter inside. This was a new side of him, and she _liked it._ Liked it _a lot._

Yes. She wanted to be _good_ for him.

She managed a meek _yes_ that was mostly a whimper. What was _happening_ to her?

“Good girl," he crooned, and Rey wanted to melt into the mattress. "Let’s take these off,” he gestured to her underwear, and she helped, shifting her hips and sliding them down her long, slender legs.

Then she was lying back, propped up on her elbows, as Ben adjusted, pushing her legs apart around his until she was spread open before his feverish gaze. He grabbed a pillow and slid it quickly under her head, then fell forward on his stomach to wrap a hand around each of her ankles. Gently, he lifted one leg, draping it over his shoulder. His eyes flicked down to her center; she knew she was already wet, and she suddenly felt shy, looking away. 

“Look at you, sweet girl. You’re a veritable _feast.”_

She pressed a soft kiss at her ankle before moving slowly up the length of her calf and then to her inner thigh, making her squirm. He was drawing it out as long as he could—it was his turn to make her wait. Ben splayed a large hand across her belly and she heard his dark chuckle against her skin.

“So impatient,” he teased.

“Mm… _please,_ Ben.”

His eyes snapped up to hers. “Patience, sweetheart. You promise to be quiet for me? Because if not—”

“I will,” she promised. “I’ll be quiet.”

The lingering, sweet, agonizing kisses continued, drawing closer and closer to where she needed him to be. When his tongue finally licked a hot stripe through her pussy lips, coming to rest on her clit, she shuddered and it was all Rey could do to bite back on a moan. Instantly, Ben leaned up to clap a hand over her mouth.

“What did I say?” he warned darkly. “Do I need to gag you?”

Rey was stunned and aroused by the hint of menace in his voice. Maybe, he’d spank her—the passing thought made her even wetter.

She shook her head but Ben was unconvinced. “I think maybe I should,” he concluded. He rose then, leaving her sprawled helplessly, and went to his closet. When he emerged, he was holding a dark blue and green paisley tie. Rey gasped as she realized what it was for.

“Open,” he commanded, and she did, allowing him to slide the tie between her teeth, securing it loosely at the back of her head. He smiled at his own handiwork. “That’s better. Now, I can do what I need to do."

Rey was almost ready to cry with gratitude. His tongue lavished her, flicking against her clit with increasing pressure as he worked first one thick finger and then a second into her, pumping slowly.

She was pulsing now, as he drew her closer and closer to the sun, to the promise of rapture. Her eyes met Ben’s, watching her face as he slowly took her apart. Rey let out what would have been a resounding moan, muffled by the gag. The corner of Ben’s eyes crinkled and she knew if she could see his mouth, he’d be smiling as he brought her flying over the edge.

_Oh fuck fuck FUCK, oh my god…_

Thank goodness for the gag or Lucy might have heard it all. 

He slowed the movement of his tongue but continued to lick her through it, drawing out every last second of her climax. Rey’s eyes fluttered closed as she lay back, her body going limp. Absolutely blissed out. Ben released the tie and tossed it aside. 

“Perfect. You’re so _good,”_ he murmured, lifting up to bind her again in a sloppy kiss. Other times, when a guy had gone down on her and kissed her after, she’d felt vaguely ashamed, maybe even a little grossed out. Maybe because there was something so intimate about it, that it didn’t feel right to share it with the wrong person. But with Ben, she truly enjoyed it, soothed by the awareness that he really wanted to do it to her. _For_ her.

He drew her close again so that she was lying against his chest, as he laid back on his pillows and kissed her temple. Rey felt his heart beating a steady tattoo into her body, her mind, her soul. 

“Just stay with me for a bit,” he whispered, and she nodded, tucking her chin into his neck. She knew she’d have to get up and go to her room in a little while, but for that moment, everything was _right._

At least they could have this. For now, it was just this. Just them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Learn to Fly", David E. Grohl, Nate Mendel, Taylor Hawkins. Foo Fighters- There Is Nothing Left to Lose, RCA, 1999


End file.
